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I've lost my mind

December 31st, 2005 at 07:48 pm

Well not only did I spend all my savings, I also charged up the stupid new credit card I just got. Plus I bought my son the dirt bike he wanted. I am a complete idiot.

My daughter is paying her car payment and insurance but always late, which is still cutting into my plans. I talked to a few lenders, and they seem to believe that if I got a HELOC, I could pay off the credit card, car and the dirt bike. The payment would only be about $200 per month. Which would also mean that I would be able to take the daughter off of my auto insurance and let her get her own. I talked to the daughter and I told her I would have her sign a promissary note and that she would pay me back a minimum of $100 per month until the car was paid for. Even if she didn't pay, I'd still be better off than I am now. I am constantly worried that I'm going to have to pay the entire car payment and insurance which is about $500 per month. I've had to pay it in the past.

My younger kids were approved for Kaiser starting tomorrow. My daughter got her own insurance which is Aetna. It is a lot better than what I have for myself. She pays $34 per month.

I had a wonderful Christmas. On the Thursday before Christmas I found out that I didn't have cancer. WHOOPEE! I'm still having issues, so I'm going to have another procedure done to try to correct it, so we'll see how it goes.

I interviewed for a new job. I totally blew the oral part, I do feel that I did the rest alright. It was a long drive home. The job would be worth it if I didn't have to work overtime anymore. I'm worried about the travel that is involved. Spoke to the kids and they said they would be okay.

My idiot ex called my son and said he was planning on coming out for Christmas, but because no one called him back, he changed his plans. Now mind, he said this to his 14 year old son. The jerk. First of all, he didn't even call me. When my son told me (very accusingly because "I" didn't call him back), I was infuriated. I looked my precious boy right in the face and said, "If your dad wants to come here and visit you he doesn't need my permission." I never even went into the "what message" and "liar - liar" games. I thought I did very well.
He told my son he is working up in Oregon. I wish he would help out a little. Not much, maybe just pay for the kids' bus passes or something. Those are $150 each. I have to buy 3.

My boys are growing so fast. My oldest is 16 and now is 6'1". I think this year he needed new pants and new shoes almost every month. If my 15 year keeps up with his brother I'm really going to be in a real mess next year.

I know, whine whine whine. I did finance that dirt bike for my son. I probably can't afford that either. I'm a bad mom I suppose. Its not like I don't know what's important. I just have a hard time telling the kids that they can't have everything they want. I wouldn't even have a problem if their dad just paid his $325 in child support. He never pays. This is incredibly frustrating. Sometimes I think I'm the only person who ever has any problems at all.

Happy New Year.

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