and things don't look any easier.

The insurance company settled with me for my daughter's car. I owe 7100. They settled for 5100 because their insured actually hit 4 cars including my kid. I've started paying them $125 per month. They call all the time and drive me crazy. I've asked a few money wise people what to do. Some of them told me to call and offer them a settlement others tell me just to keep paying them each month. I'm always scared that if something else should happen to me that I won't have any money to cover it. I barely have enough money to pay my bills and put a little money into savings for bills that don't come every month like insurance and propane. The only reason I can even pay them is because I got a $1.00 an hour raise a month or so ago. I don't know what to do.

My daughter is paying for the puppy that had parvo. I only paid $400. So I am thankful for that. She considers him her dog and feels responsible. Did I mention that she moved out again? Things are kind of stressful between us because I'm paying for that car and she's not. I was never going to mention it to her again, but she brought it up to me a few days ago and I told her that I was making payments on it. She asked about the settlement. At the time I didn't have it yet and I told her so. I'm almost afraid that if I mention to her that I got it she might ask me for money. When we argued about who's responsibility the car was, and I realized that she was not going to keep making the payments, I told her to never ask me for money again. She's never asked out right for money, but she has hinted at it. I'm not going to give her money.

My loan for my house is still in the restructure stage, but they told me it has been approved.

I still have most of the last couple of mortgage payments. I used the first mortgage to catch up on all my bills, pay the $400 for the dog, pay my car insurance for 6 months and the registration on my car.

I did take another $1,000 and get new tires (bald), brakes (90% gone), oil change, alignment and a couple of other things for the car. One of my tires was flat every morning. Lately I've been worrying about the car just holding out.

This means with the settlement that I have $8,500 in my bank account in my money market fund. So why am I still very, very worried?

I'll tell you why. I did my budget and I barely have enough money coming in to pay my bills and buy groceries and pay my mortgage which I was told would be increasing 'just a little' with the restructure. What the heck does 'just a little' mean anyway?

I figured out that to feel comfortable I would need to make $300 more every month. That means that I would have to earn 4% interest on $8500. I can only earn that in a CD, which would tie up my money for no less than 3 months at a time. I am not willing to put it into my deferred comp that invests it. I lost money there anyway and it is too hard to get to if something should happen. So there it sits in my money market earning 1.7 % interest each month.

I think I'm just tired. I do all I can and I just can't seem to make ends meet. Every month, it is something else.

Christmas is coming and my oldest daughter asked me to go in halves on a Nintendo video game for my son. Last year I didn't buy them anything, because I didn't have any money. This year I have $200 saved up. I have three kids at home. I told her "no". My share would be $125. I told her that I thought that was too much for my son to ask for. She said she told him that but that is all he wants. I still said "no".

I am also having Christmas at my house this year for the family. We always pot luck it so it's not so hard.

My youngest son who is seventeen, desperately needs to go into his second phase of braces. I'm hoping on getting just a little bit of income tax refund. I claim 14 and I haven't paid my mortgage in 4 months. I hope I don't end up owing money.

On the good side, I am now owe $10,899.41 on my credit card debt. I can hardly wait until that is gone. I thought about paying a big chunk towards this too, but if I was going to do that, I might as well pay on the car. I think I'm better off just making payments and saving the money for an emergency.

I did my budget for November and December yesterday. There is not a whole lot left over, which shouldn't surprise me, but it did anyway.

I will have about $400 left each month for food, gas and my kids school lunches and bus passes. Life is actually easier when they're in school.

I just don't know how I make it month to month sometimes. My stupid debt is now less than $11,000. I should be overjoyed, instead I still see that $316 monthly payment going out month after month.

I did do some things which I am proud of. I am now giving my brother $50 per month to help out with my mom. I also paid the entire six months of car insurance so I wouldn't incur the $30 late fees for three monthly installments. I am also puting $25 in a savings account each time I get paid. I just started this, still, it is a step in the right direction and one I wish I could have done months ago.

The car insurance company wants to settle on the car. This will still leave me over $1,000 in the hole. The finance company wants their money right now. I'm hoping they will settle for what I get. To catch everyone up - my daughter did not have insurance on a car that I financed for her. I am afraid I will be sued. My daughter has not made a payment since the car was wrecked in June. I've tried talking to her, but she will not listen to me. I am holding on to being angry about that and I can't seem to let it go.

I went to see my Pop's grave yesterday. There isn't any grass yet or a headstone. Just a maker. For a little while I felt better. I think it is going to look really nice.

Yesterday I went home after just a half day of work. My daughter had her ortho appointment and I asked for the rest of the day off. I'm wondering if I just went back to work too soon after he died. He was just laid to rest on Monday and I went back on Tuesday. I stayed home all last week. I thought that that was enough. Maybe not.

I'm thinking about trying to publish my story I wrote. I don't know if I could take rejection right now. Maybe I'll wait a while.

I'm thinking about writing a blog on "How I... Maybe I'll win the $25.

Tomorrow I write the check for $250 for my little girl's braces. I wish I could have said that I had it all saved up, but I don't. I'll be stealing from Peter to pay Paul.

My son brought home a little kitten. He named him Lily, until I noticed he was really a Charley. Poor baby was so starved it chased my mean cat away from the food while she was eating. My Jack Russel loves him. My Aussie just ignores him. I think he is growing on the other cats. He was a little shy at first until the Jack Russell crawled towards him on his belly and put his nose down with the kitten's nose. Now they are fast friends. Funny how animals are.

I got $27 from turning in my cans and $22.10 from Treasure Trooper. It bought groceries. With that, and what I have in the fridge, it will have to do until I get paid again in two weeks. I don't think I'll do Treasure Trooper again.

I'm just so tired of worrying about paying the bills. The new kitten and the flowers in the garden have really cheered me up. Gardening and playing with baby kittens will cheer just about anyone up I guess.

As my mom always said, "Tomorrow is a brand new day and you get to start all over."

Well, Comcast Cable still has not credited my internet account. I was paying the wrong bill on-line, my phone (that I cancelled in 11/06) instead of my internet. I had to get an extension to keep my internet on until I get paid again.

Now my bank is involved because I paid it on-line. Customer service people are involved at Comcast because they believe that my other account should have been credited. Apparently my money is out there floating around in never never land. Cashed by Comcast with no place to put it. A literal virtual money land.
$105.00 missing.

As soon as this thing is rectified, I'm canceling and going to another service. They are now Time Warner Cable. I really don't like them. Live and learn I guess. Sometimes it doesn't pay to try and save money.

I got my propane bill. $322. Trash bill will be coming soon and to top it all off, I think OT at work is stopping. Oh well.