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Once upon a time...

February 21st, 2007 at 09:02 pm

their lived a happy family. A mom, a dad and their four very happy children. One day the dad decided that what was important to him had very little to do with what was important to a family. Mom and dad went their separate ways. Mom got everything in the divorce. The four kids, the dogs and all the bills.

Today I chose to be angry.

My ex-husband does not call. He does not pay child support. When we divorced, he might as well have just died.

Today I chose not to feel sorry for myself and instead count my blessings.

1) My children are happy and alive.
2) My parents are alive.
3) My siblings are alive
4) I am buying the house I live in.
5) I have paid all the bills for this month.
6) I live in an area with a good school district.
7) I have reasonably inexpensive health insurance for my kids.
8) I have a job
9) We will not go hungry.
10)My car gets me back and forth to work and anyplace else I want to go.
11)My little girl likes her smile.
12)My kids like each other and choose to be with each other.
13)My family all live within driving distance.
14)I work eight miles from where I live.
15)I found this forum.
16)This can go on and on....Smile

Today I chose to be happy.

""What we do in life echoes in eternity-Maximus"

5 Responses to “Once upon a time...”

  1. Ima saver Says:

    Good for you. I know where you are coming from. My ex never saw my daughter and never paid child support. He also never amounted to anything but I was not there to handle the money!

  2. Broken Arrow Says:

    I will never understand men who shirk their duties to their children, much less not wanting to have anything to do with them. There is absolutely no excuse for this. And for that, I sympathize with you, and don't blame you one bit for being angry.

    I also recommend that you pursue legal actions to get him to start paying.

    Take care!

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Barbara. your list really touches me because it makes me look back to all those many years ago when my own parents divorced. We did not have all those blessings. Six kids, unpaid child support. No car and living on the edge of the outermost suburbs so that Mom had to walk two miles to the bus stop to get to work, and of course two miles home at night. Sold blood to make ends meet. Kids at home isolated from school mates who lived far away, unhappy and at each other's throats. Isolation also made it hard for the older kids to get jobs, even babysitting or lawnmowing. No family on father's side. Family on Mom's side were bigots who despised us because Mom had converted, so no love or support from that side. Couldn't afford adequate utilities ,so we were cold in winter....on and on. I have so much sympathy for families who have come upon hardships of all sorts in the aftemath of a divorce. And the kind of human beings who abandon their own young? Well, those young are probably better off by having such a person gone.

  4. nance Says:

    My ex also abandoned his children, to do his "own thing" with his much younger girlfriend. The kids and I did fine, but my son did suffer a lot growing up wanting his dad to be a "dad", and being rejected over and over again.
    The girls didn't have as difficult a time, but it was hard for them too.
    I also got the house, and the mortgage, but was able to pay it off early, thanks to a good job. We always dressed well, thanks to Goodwill, and tag sales. Unfortunately, we didn't have any family within 1000 miles, and that would have been so helpful for the kids.
    You are very fortunate to have family nearby. Make sure your kids see extended family often, and keep them central to your lives. It will make a huge difference. Kids need to see families that love each other and stay together, so they have positive role models. Grandfathers and uncles will be important to the boys as well as girls. Girls will gravitate to men like their fathers if that is all they know. Boys need to spend time with positive males.
    You will be fine, with your positive attitude, and extended family in your lives. Good luck. It sounds like you have a great family.

  5. baselle Says:

    Its so true that you really can't pursue happiness, but you have to find it and recognize it. Happiness is a "present" emotion - happiness in the past is nostalgia, happiness in the future is yearning.

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