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Sometimes I feel like the little train that was barely hangin on.

November 2nd, 2007 at 06:06 am

I did my budget for November and December yesterday. There is not a whole lot left over, which shouldn't surprise me, but it did anyway.

I will have about $400 left each month for food, gas and my kids school lunches and bus passes. Life is actually easier when they're in school.

I just don't know how I make it month to month sometimes. My stupid debt is now less than $11,000. I should be overjoyed, instead I still see that $316 monthly payment going out month after month.

I did do some things which I am proud of. I am now giving my brother $50 per month to help out with my mom. I also paid the entire six months of car insurance so I wouldn't incur the $30 late fees for three monthly installments. I am also puting $25 in a savings account each time I get paid. I just started this, still, it is a step in the right direction and one I wish I could have done months ago.

The car insurance company wants to settle on the car. This will still leave me over $1,000 in the hole. The finance company wants their money right now. I'm hoping they will settle for what I get. To catch everyone up - my daughter did not have insurance on a car that I financed for her. I am afraid I will be sued. My daughter has not made a payment since the car was wrecked in June. I've tried talking to her, but she will not listen to me. I am holding on to being angry about that and I can't seem to let it go.

I went to see my Pop's grave yesterday. There isn't any grass yet or a headstone. Just a maker. For a little while I felt better. I think it is going to look really nice.

Yesterday I went home after just a half day of work. My daughter had her ortho appointment and I asked for the rest of the day off. I'm wondering if I just went back to work too soon after he died. He was just laid to rest on Monday and I went back on Tuesday. I stayed home all last week. I thought that that was enough. Maybe not.

I'm thinking about trying to publish my story I wrote. I don't know if I could take rejection right now. Maybe I'll wait a while.

I'm thinking about writing a blog on "How I... Maybe I'll win the $25.

2 Responses to “Sometimes I feel like the little train that was barely hangin on.”

  1. Carolina Bound Says:

    Hang in there. I was a divorced mother of two and scraped by for many years. My debt got up to $23,000 at one point. So I hear you. Keep truckin', it will get better.

  2. clubneary Says:

    Hang in there. Both my parents died when I was 30. I took about 6 weeks off for both of their deaths. Perhaps you need more time. You owe it to yourself to take the time to take care of yourself or it will come back and get you at another time. As someone who lost parents I know that eventually time does heal the hurt and emptiness that you are feeling right now.

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